7 Habits of Highly Successful Teens
Habit 5
5. Seek First to Understand, and then to be Understood
Because most people don’t listen very well, one of the great
frustrations in one’s life is that many don’t feel understood. This habit will
ensure your teen learns the most important communication skill there is: active
listening.
Why is this habit the key to communication? It’s because the
deepest need of the human heart is to be understood. Everyone wants to be
respected and valued for who they are—a unique, one-of-a-kind, never-you-be-cloned
individual. People won’t expose their soft middles unless they feel genuine
love and understanding. Once they feel it, however, they will tell you more
than you want to hear. People don’t care how much you know until they know how
much you care. Listen with your eyes,
heart, and ears. 7 percent of communication is contained in the words we use. The
rest comes from body language (53 Percent) and how we say words, or the tone
and feeling reflected in our voice (40 Percent). Most people are eager to talk
and had rather talk than listen. We have one mouth and two ears. This means we
should listen twice as much as we talk. Learn to listen and listen to learn.
Listen, really listen, for understanding. Seek first to understand then to be
understood---LISTEN
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